• Lesley McLaren

Day 21 North America Tour - Tuesday 31st July 2007

12:06

We’re on the road to New Jersey to ditch the gear and the van! Yeeha!

We’re all really excited about coming home now. No longer prisoner to the white lines on the freeway, we’re off to sunny Scotland for a reality check. Rufus Wainwright is back on the MP3 player since his album was put to rest mid tour due to an obsession that was bordering on unhealthy. No more living out a suitcase (for a while anyway), eating hot chicken wings, pizza and beer in excess (secretly I’ll miss them but my hips won’t thank me if I carry on like that!).


No more being herded into the van at 2am by a shattered tour manager who just wants his bed and no cheek for just one night. Instead it’ll be my friends down the Café Continental bundling me into a taxi with a fiver pinned to my jacket. I’ve got 5 days without my fellow band mates and after a couple of days I will start to miss them. Tippi says she can’t wait to see the back of us but deep down I know when she gets up in the morning she’ll miss our crabbit wee faces staring back at her, complaining of being too hot cos she won’t let us put the air con on since it “dries her throat” or trying to bum a paracetamol off her to take away the pain of the previous night’s carry- on!


Gill will miss me shouting at her for setting her alarm an hour and half before call time and not actually getting up til there’s an hour to go by which time she has ruined my last 30 mins in bed.

Rosie will miss the sitting in silence as I tap away on the computer like Jessica Fletcher compiling a series of Murder She Wrote. I’ll miss Rosie scaring me half to death with horror stories when we’re travelling in the dead of night and the bus is in darkness. I’ve slept with the toilet light on many times this tour.


I’ll miss the wheel spin sound effects provided from Gill from her perch in the back of the van every time Frank hit’s a bend at 70mph. Collectively we’ve got several sound effects perfected and I was up for producing a sound effects album but we don’t really have the cash! So far we can imitate the sound of grinding metal, a comedy horn, a tornado warning, a chain saw and Lenny Henry impersonating a bird call. This is now the “The Lost the Plot Tour”.

18:00

We’re sitting in the luxury of the Silver Jet lounge waiting on our personal invitation to board the plane. It really is an amazing airline. There is a free bar with everything you could want and champagne is offered to you whenever your glass is empty. Superb! We really could get used to this! There is free wi-fi, so I’m happy and Tippi is delighted that she can go outside for a fag. It’s great not sitting with the plebs (says us!) who have screaming weans that are hyper on the duty free sized bags of Starburst. We can’t thank Lawrence at Silverjet enough for sponsoring our flights. If it wasn’t for him, we would’ve been home over week ago. When we’re rich and famous he’ll be getting our custom every time!


09:08

(Wednesday 22nd July 2007)

I’ve decided to run yesterday’s blog into today’s since Tuesday and today have merged into one. We landed at Luton airport at 7:30am and are now hammering it up the motorway to Glasgow. The weather is a lot cooler and the people look a bit grey but we’re glad to be back all the same. I miss America though, especially New York which is by far the coolest city in the world!


The flight was amazing. Once my delicious salmon fillet and spinach was served up on a real plate with proper knives and forks, the shop was shut. The complimentary socks, earplugs and eye mask were donned, seat put into the horizontal position and I was out like a light for about 4 hours. I couldn’t believe it when the captain spoke to us 30mins before landing to say we were on the approach to Luton. For the first time ever, I didn’t want to get off a plane. It was so comfortable.

I have to say that I’ve really enjoyed this tour and I think I speak for all the girls when I say that.


The gigs have been busy, the people really responsive and the other bands we’ve played with have been so friendly. We’ve been well looked after at the venues and made to feel really welcome. I hope it’s not too long before we’re back. My strict diet and exercise regime begins on Thursday to work off those giant portions and the beers so if you see me jogging about town don’t laugh at my purple face and heavy breathing. Action is required! America was good but it’s bad for your health!


Over and out til the next tour.

Soup x