Day 12 North America Tour - 22nd July 2007
We woke up at about 10am to try and tackle the huge bags of washing we all had before we set off for Philadelphia. It has to be said that washing day on tour is the most depressing day ever. The ideal situation is to find a laundrette and put your clothes in for a wash and fold, giving someone else the pleasure of this chore. Sadly though, we haven’t been in one place long enough to take advantage of this luxury. Instead, we had to do it ourselves. It’s tough being a rock star. First we had to trek away down to reception to ask for quarters. You’d think we’d asked for gold coins the way the staff react. Honestly. Every checkout, reception or toll booth staff we’ve encountered are crabbit wenches.
I asked the nice lady on reception if I could have $6 worth of quarters for Tippi and I so we could get washing powder from the slot machine, pay for the washing machine and then the drier. She grudgingly gave me $5 worth when I could see a healthy stash of quarters in the till. I then had to march away down the Seven Eleven in a desert like heat to get more change. Tippi asked me to get her cigarettes while I was there. Well that too was an ordeal. After I managed to explain to bored cashier that I wanted change, she then asked me for ID for the fags. I should be flattered but I think she was just saying it to be as awkward as possible.
We eventually got our washing into the machines by about 10:30am. Rosie and Gill got up a bit later and had to wait for ages until we were finished. By 1pm Frank was champing at the bit to get away and Rosie and Gill were still trying to get their jeans dried. They had to take them to Philadelphia soaking wet and sling them over the balcony of yet another Days Inn when we arrived. Pure tramps. Schemies, in fact! If you imagine Sun Hill Estate from The Bill then that would describe a Days Inn Motel. It certainly looked more like that with our washing hanging all over the place!
Anyway, the drive to Philadelphia was a short one in comparison to the others. It only took about 3.5 hours so we actually had time to get ready at the hotel instead of the toilets at the gig. When we got to the venue, there was happy hour on chicken wings. Things were starting to look up! We’re that sad. It was a quarter for 1 wing! More bloody quarters!
We feasted on loads of hot chicken wings and cheese fries. Ach well, we’d been healthy all day just eating fruit and salad so we were allowed. Just as the evening was picking up a huge shadow was cast over the table and the hot chicken wings went cold. I looked up from my plate and cast my eyes upwards, past the bulging belly, the man boobs and the grizzly chin until they locked on the eyes. I could hear a buzzing, it was the light behind this beast’s eyes....a bit like a dimmer switch. There was a grunt; “ Can I see your Ids?” at which point we all handed over our driving licences. This man, who obviously never made it into cop school and was still reeling from the rejection, turned out to be the house manager of the bar and refused to accept our licences as valid forms of ID. He wanted to see our passports but they were in the hotel. He had only been programmed to say one thing; “You’re in the United States of America and that’s the only form of ID we will accept in any bar”. He would not listen we when proclaimed that every other bar we’d ever been in accepted our drivers licence. He was being so obtuse that we suggested he cancel the gig.
Frank managed to pacify him though and he eventually buckled. He was telling us that if the State Police walked in and we didn’t have a passport, then the bar would be facing a $2000 a head fine. Ha! Anyway, we managed to bite our lip since he was obviously a jobsworth and not capable of the same standard of communication of most normal people.
We finished our food and lounged around, slagging the guy off for about an hour. We’re not happy unless we’re moaning! We played an interesting show. There was an audience of 2! Great work from the promoter There was a lot of carry-on on stage and changing of words with the house manager at the butt of every joke.
We managed not to get thrown out and stayed to watch Scissors for Lefty to make it look busy. We had a good laugh with the band and vowed to have a proper night out with them when we get to Kentucky (wonder if there’ll be more chicken.!)
After the show we travelled back to Sun Hill and accidentally stumbled upon the steps where Rocky was filmed! We ran up and down the steps singing Eye of the Tiger to the amusement of the passing public and took many snaps of us clinging to the Rocky statue....again in the dead of night, so I’ll see how they turn out!
